Alone?
by PoisionedNightshade
Summary: After a close encounter, Yato realizes how much he doesn't want to hurt his two best friends.


**Disclaimer: Noragami does not belong to me :(**

* * *

 **Summary: After a close encounter, Yato realizes how much he doesn't want to hurt his two best friends.**

* * *

Water. That was all he could feel…all around him. He was numb, he could hardly feel the ice-cold water pricking against his skin anymore; he couldn't feel the burning in his lungs as they tried to get air by breathing in the water that surrounded him. He had struggled at first, but gave up due to fatigue and the awful, awful thought that hit him as hard as he had hit the water.

He had to atone for the sins of his past. If he were to die, it wasn't likely Yato would be reincarnated, he would be erased from the minds of everyone. Hiyori would be able to live a happy life, Yukine would get a new master and…he would be happier with that new master. Maybe Bishamon would take him in…the blood that had soaked his hands were washed off on the outside, but really, it was still there. His hands were stained with buckets of the innocent's blood. By his death, the blood would finally be washed away and it would leave not only him, but the many souls he murdered, at peace.

So Yato was there now…falling in the water and slowly losing consciousness. Would the world be a better place without Yato? He didn't know…he only hoped it would. Before the blackness over took his vision, he heard what sounded like a splash, and through the misty water he saw a blonde boy swimming towards him…but then he felt absolutely nothing.

* * *

 _Yato…Yato…no…oh my…_ Yukine thought desperately. The two were walking, coming back from a job. It was a starry night, and Yukine was enjoying the beautiful constellations when Yato suddenly stopped by a railing and looked into the dark water. In the night, it was beautiful, the water was perfectly reflecting the gorgeous stars, creating a wonderful mirror and crystal image. Though it was a frigid night, it was nice. Yukine was bundled up enough, so he wasn't really cold. He loved the sound of the calm waves and the small whistle of wind and the feeling of chilliness as said wind kissed his cold face.

He hadn't thought much of Yato looking into the water, but when he looked over to ask Yato if they could get going, his heart skipped a beat. Yato seemed to faint, and slipped over the railing.

" _Yato_!" Yukine wailed as his master's body hit the freezing cold water.

Yukine tugged off his coat as fast as he could, and removed his shoes before going in after Yato. Once his body hit the water, there was pain. It hurt so bad...the cold water stung his skin like pins and needles, and he found it hard to see in the water. He had to move fast, both he and Yato would end up with hypothermia if he didn't hurry. Also, Yukine was beginning to get tired in the water. He saw Yato sinking down in the dark. Yukine quickly swam towards the dark figure, wrapped his arms around his master's waist and swam back to the shore underneath the overlook.

He pulled Yato onto the shore and gasped for his own breath. Yukine forgot about his current pain with cold, and found with dismay that Yato was not breathing. Hyori had taught him cpr, and a few things about drowning victims. Yukine shook his head and placed his hands on Yato's chest. He pushed hard. He began to pump his arms, keeping a steady beat with the CPR, his heart pounding in worry. He cringed when he heard a few cracks, meaning that a few of Yato's ribs had just been broken, but that was for the best and it was natural.

He counted as he performed CPR. Finally, relief washed over his face when Yato's eyes opened. Yukine moved as fast as he could away from Yato as the god vomited…also – unfortunately – natural. Yukine rubbed Yato's back as the god of calamity retched up food and a ton of water.

 _How did he get so much water in his lungs for only being there for a few minutes..._? Yukine thought.

"Y-yato…" He said timidly. "…are…are…y-you…okay?"

Yato placed his arm over his eyes and took in sharp painful breathes.

"Y-y-yukine…" not only was Yato's voice hoarse (probably from the fact he almost drowned) it was full of sorrow. "…you s-s-saved me…"

Yukine frowned, "O-o-of course I s-saved you!"

Yukine's teeth chattered from the cold, as did Yato's. Both god and regalia, had purple lips and pale faces. Yukine needed to get Yato warm, the man seemed to be chattering worse than Yukine. He painstakingly placed Yato on his back and trekked back to where his coat was. Once he reached where it was he put on his shoes and wrapped the coat around Yato, who was fighting to stay conscious. As Yukine fitted the coat onto Yato's shivering body, the god's head lolled against Yukine's shoulder. Yukine didn't like this…

He once again lifted Yato onto his back, and began to go as fast as he could towards Kofuku's. He was so close to getting there when his knees gave away. He couldn't feel his feet anymore…he should have taken off his socks before putting his shoes back on. Yukine did his best to break Yato's fall, and once he regained his vision which was swirling for a moment, he glanced at Yato.

He was unconscious now, and his face was so pale it was unnerving. He was only down the street from Kofuku's…he was pathetic. _What kind of exemplar was Yukine if he couldn't even push past the pain and make it one block…_?

"Yukine!?"

Yukine's head jerked up to where the voice had come from. Relief washed over Yukine like a wave.

"H-hiyori!"

Hiyori was terrified…Yato was on the ground, pale as snow and breathing hard. Both boys looked to have just eaten a purple snow-cone. Hiyori was next to them in a heartbeat. She took off her coat and pulled it around Yukine.

"I-i-it's Y-Yato who n-needs it m-most." Yukine explained.

"You _both_ need it," she said, glancing around at the dark street. "can you try to walk, I can't carry you both."

Yukine nodded slowly as Hiyori lifted Yato onto her back. Sometimes, Yukine was surprised by her strength. He used her arm as a support and they made it to Kofuku's as fast as Yukine could go.

Hiyori knocked on the front, and was greeted by Kofuku. "Whoa…déjà vu."

"Yato and Yukine need to get into the shower!" She exclaimed.

Daikoku scowled before taking one look at the freezing boys and nodding.

He took Yato off of Hiyori's back and carried him towards the showers, with Yukine being assisted by Hiyori. Once they were in the shower room, the door was closed on Hyori. Kofuku gripped Hyori's sleeve.

"What happened Yori-chan?" She inquired quietly.

"I…don't know." She answered honestly.

Hiyori and Kofuku waited pateintly until Daikoku came out of the shower room.

"Are they alright?"

"Yato's still slumbering, but Yukine's awake. I'm getting them new clothing right now, Kofuku, would you mind making some tea?"

Kofuku smiled, "Tea!"

In all honesty, it was Hiyori who actually made the tea, but she kept it warm until Daikoku came out. He went upstairs holding Yato, and Yukine came out, still rubbing his arms. Hyori was glad to see the boy didn't have blue lips anymore.

Yukine sat on his knees by the table and Kofuku dropped a blanket on him with a giggle. Upstairs, Daikoku placed Yato on his designated sleeping area, and placed a few blankets on top of him. He was discombobulated to find Yato's expression was full of pain and sadness, despite being unconscious. What did he do this time?

"What an idiot…" Daikoku sighed and returned downstairs.

Once he came into the kitchen, he patted Yukine on the head, "What happened?"

Yukine swallowed a gulp of tea and sighed, "To be perfectly honest…I don't actually know…"

"What do you mean, Yukine?" Hyori questioned.

"Me and Yato were coming back from a job, and he stopped at the overlook before…well…" said Yukine unsurely. "…I think Yato fainted. The point is, he fell into the water and started to drown so I jumped in and saved him, but almost couldn't make it back here before Hiyori came…"

"What were you doing out here so late anyways?" Daikoku asked Hiyori.

"I had forgotten to give Yukine a study book…I…I'm really glad I forgot to give it to him though…" She mused.

"Me too." Yukine agreed.

"So. Yati fainted?" Kofuku chuckled. "Why would he do something so silly~?"

"He…" Yukine muttered. "…he looked scared when I pulled him out of the water…I'm kind of…worried."

"Yeah…" nodded Hiyori, "I am too."

Yukine knew they continued to talk, but, he was getting to tired to even listen. Hiyori noticed this and her expression softened even more than it was before.

"Yukine, you should get to bed. You've had a long night."

"But…I should walk you home-"

"I can." Daikoku offered. "If my lady permits it."

"Haha~ ! Of course!" Kofuku giggled loudly.

"Thank you," Hiyori bowed her head to Daikoku before looking back to Yukine. "don't worry, I'll be here tomorrow morning to check on you and Yato, get some rest."

Yukine sighed and nodded before staggering upstairs. He cringed at Yato's form. He still looked scared. Yukine laid on top of his blankets and looked at Yato in the light of the lantern. Yukine's heart ached…he didn't know why. He knew Yato had a screwed up past, and before he realized how much Yato and the others really meant to him, he didn't care or want to be a part of it…but now, he was worried and as much as he denied it, he cared for Yato like a son would care for his father.

Yukine sighed and closed his eyes, he turned off the lantern as he slipped into a light sleep.

* * *

 _Yaboku. You worthless garbage. How selfish of you to try to kill yourself! Of course, that is the right course of action. You killed us all. You murdered. You tore apart families…you hurt all around you…_

"No!" Yato shot up, his voice full of panic and stress.

He blinked to find himself in Kofuku's attic…a chill raced up his body. He gripped his chest at the sudden pain that shot through it when he sat up. A broken rib…

"Yato…?" asked a shy voice. "…you're awake…"

Yato didn't dare look over at Yukine. Yukine was wide awake, sitting up and watching his master nervously.

"What's wrong…?"

"N-nothing…" Yato murmured.

Yukine pushed aside the blankets and scooted towards Yato. He gripped his wrists and brought them down.

"You're crying…" He stated.

Yato felt his cheeks and closed his eyes, "So I am."

"What…why…um-" Yukine sighed. "…why'd you faint?"

Yato hesitated, "I don't know…overwork I guess…"

"Yato." Yukine chewed his lip. "Please tell me what's wrong."

"Yukine, I can't-"

"Yato! Why don't you trust me!?" Yukine snapped.

Yato could feel the boy's anger, confusion and worry in his own chest. Yet again, Yato was hurting someone…someone he cared about.

"It's not…it's not that I don't trust you, Yukine." Yato said, hanging his head low. "It's just…I don't want you worrying, I want you to be happy. If you get caught up in all the screwed-up messes I get in…you'll _never_ be happy…my past is still biting at my heels. I don't want you dragged into that."

Yukine's bangs covered his eyes and he was silent for a moment, "Yato. Your past is behind you."

Yato frowned, blinking away a few tears that threatened to spill out.

"You're facing your future now," Yukine lifted his head, a determined look on his face. "as your number one, your regalia…and your best friend, I have to tell you that I don't care about being happy if you're not. You can't face these things alone, idiot."

"Yukine, you don't understand. I murdered so many people-"

"So what," interrupted Yukine. "but, remember that's in the _past_. You're not the murdering god of calamity without a heart that you used to be. You're completely different, and besides, I promised you I'd make sure you never killed another person. It's okay to reminisce about the past, think about your mistakes and decide not to make them again…but _living_ in your past is something you can't do. Think about how you're hurting me, Hiyori…and _yourself_."

Yato rubbed his temples and lowered his head again, "Yukine. If…if I die, won't it be better for everyone? I seem to cause trouble. I caused _you_ trouble not too long ago by almost dying. If you didn't save me, you and Hyori would be happy."

"What?!" Yukine exclaimed angrily. "What the hell!? Yato! How can _I_ be happy if you're dead! I am your exemplar! I'm your friend! If you died, how on earth do you think that would make me happy!? Or Hiyori!? She would _cry_ if you died! I would too! Yato, you're important and if you think dying will make up for your sins you're stupid!"

Yato was taken back, and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Yukine.

"The best thing you can do to atone for your sins is _not do them again_! Live on, Yato! I know you recognize the feeling of guilt! But you should know that sulking about things you've done and wishing you were dead will not make up for anything! Keep doing the good you do, helping people Yato! You have friends now, and we know that you did crap in your past, but we're still your friends despite that! Do you really want to die and leave us behind!?"

Yukine's words rung in Yato's head. _Leave them behind_. He never thought of that. The dam of tears were released and Yato's head collapsed into his hands. The emotion's he had bottled up for so long came out in sobs.

Yukine moved to his master and embraced him, mindful of Yato's chest. No, not something he would do on a regular basis…but sometimes he needed to show Yato the truth about how much he loved him, and how much Hiyori or others loved him.

"I'm…so selfish!" Yato sobbed. "I'm sorry…I…"

"It's okay."

Yato's face was buried in his regalia's shoulder, making the younger one's shirt damp with tears and snot. Yukine didn't mind that this time…Yato was improving. He was glad. After a while, Yato pulled away and looked at Yukine with a nervous smile.

"I'm…sorry. Kind of embarrassing, haha…" Yato trailed off.

Yukine nodded in understanding, and smiled back at Yato. "Yato…you mentioned you might have fainted from overworking…does that mean you haven't gotten a lot of sleep?"

"No…I – uh guess not." Yato rubbed the back of his head.

Yukine sighed, "Whether you want to or not, we're taking a few days off of work and you're going to relax."

"But-"

"Do you understand?" Yukine asked in a stern voice.

Yato gazed at Yukine for a moment before nodding.

"Lay down and get some rest. I'll be right back."

Yato sighed and lay on his back tiredly. When he heard Yukine return, he cracked his eye open and watched as the blond regalia knelt by Yato and placed something on his chest.

"Cold!" Yato hissed.

"It's just ice, do you want your rib to heal or not?"

Yato rolled his eyes and tried to relax.

"Goodnight Yato."

* * *

The next morning Hiyori came to Kofuku's. She was happy to see Yukine up and moving around.

"Is Yato alright?"

"Oh, yes." Yukine sighed. "He fainted because he overworked himself. He's upstairs right now…actually, I was about to bring this ice up to him."

"I'll come." Hiyori smiled kindly at Yukine and followed him upstairs.

Yato was laying on his back, with no shirt, holding his phone above his face with one hand.

"Yato, Hiyori's here."

Yato glanced in Hiyori's direction and dropped his phone besides him. "Oh, hey…I heard you saved us last night."

Hiyori nodded and sat by Yato. She sighed when she saw the badly bruised area on his chest.

"What happened?" She asked, gesturing to the injured area.

"I accidentally broke his rib doing CPR." Yukine answered, applying ice to Yato's chest.

"You remembered how to do CPR?" Hiyori chuckled. "I am so proud of you!"

Yukine's face flushed and he rubbed the back of his head nervously, "Heh, thanks."

Hiyori flashed him one more smile before turning her attention to Yato, who was watching the two with tired eyes. Hiyori placed her hand on Yato's head.

"Please be careful." She said. "I couldn't handle if anything bad happened to you."

Yato stared at her before blinking back a tear that Hiyori couldn't see. _He had people who cared for him_. He reached for her hand and took it, "I…I'll do my best. Thank you…so much Hiyori."

"That's what friends are for."

 **The End**


End file.
